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Get Dallas Cowboys news on your cellSimpson planned to destroy Cowboys' season?
10:48 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008 | Permalink
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February 2008
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Movers and Shakers Pre-season Texas Stadium dallasnews.com
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So says The Onion, which never lets the facts get in the way of a funny story. "Ever since I was a little girl growing up in football-obsessed Texas, it's been a dream of mine to completely bring the evil, arrogant Cowboys organization and its boorish and cocky fans to their knees. But the suave and sophisticated players on that team are nigh-unapproachable for a nice country girl like me," Simpson declared from her Throne of Thorns, situated in the surveillance room of her headquarters. "And then I saw Tony. Instantly I knew that he was the weak link, the keystone, the only one for me to exploit." Warning: Sense of humor is strongly recommended if you're going to click on the above link. Folks who don't find this stuff funny have two options: Ignore it or rant and rave in the comments, so others can laugh at you. |
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Comments
Posted by Dave M @ 11:16 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
It would be funny if so many "fans" and "media types" didn't believe it, and hype it.
Posted by stb @ 11:18 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Classic!
Posted by hot for romo @ 11:25 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
We all know Jessica couldn't have said those things. Words like "boorish", "suave", and "sophisticated" are above her second grade reading level.
Posted by Bill In DC @ 11:26 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Gotta love the Onion.
Posted by garbeau @ 11:28 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
thing is...there's some idiot out there who will think it's totally true.
Posted by Love Those Cowboys @ 11:41 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
I agree with HOT FOR ROMO--Way above her smarts-
Posted by tex @ 11:44 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Hilarious. The Onion is awesome.
Tim MacMahon:
When you post honestly funny stuff like this, anyone, including depressed Cowboy fans laugh.
However, when you post gratuitous articles that only serve to rub in a loss like the one yesterday that got mysteriously removed, then you have the nerve to say that the fans who want it removed have no sense of humor.
Get a clue you idiot. We know when some things are funny, like today, and when things are being done by you and your other clown brother Albert Breer that just put salt in our teams wounds.
P.S. 90% of your readers can write better than you, you lowlife.
Posted by Tim MacMahon @ 11:51 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Tex,
No post was removed yesterday, so I reckon I have no clue what you're talking about, but thanks for the kind words!!
Posted by schinz @ 11:57 AM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Tex, that's not nice. Do you have difficulty playing with others? Though I may not read everything Tim writes, I would have trouble believing that 90% of the readers could do it better. Please be more opened minded on this blog. Thank you very much.
Posted by ap @ 12:01 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Hey Tim,
Actually, there was one that slipped between the cracks - something to do with the Cowboy season recapped in 8 seconds (a clip on Youtube). Basically, it showed a bunch of flashes of Jessica Simpson, Romo and Simpson in Mexico, and concluded with T.O. & Romo with their heads buried in their hands.
Some people thought it was funny. I thought that it wasn't far off base as that's all most people who don't follow the 'boys would remember.
Hey, here's the link.
http://cowboys.beloblog.com/archives/2008/01/summing_up_the_season.html
Posted by kd @ 12:07 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Tex are you talking about the one that sums the Cowboys season up in 8 seconds or something like that?
Posted by delete button @ 12:10 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
That clip was removed. I was wondering about that. Looks like you got called out, Tim. Now what?
Posted by tex @ 12:28 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Thanks, Kd and delete button.
Obviously, it's Tim that once again has no clue. Care for a retraction, oh enlightened one?!!
The YouTube or other video that summed up the season in 8 seconds would be okay in May or June, but certainly not the week the Cowboys got ousted. That was the complaint I had yesterday, and I believe it is a reasonable one. I have lived in other NFL cities (i.e. Cleveland, New York, Atlanta, Seattle) and they absolutely don't shove that kind of video/article down their readers the week of elimination.
It's only at the DMN where they think they are funny or witty when they do something like this.
Hey, we will all be in good humor this summer, but not just now.
Posted by Saint Jimmy @ 12:39 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
I lasted 8 seconds once.
Once.
Posted by Tex's Gay Lover @ 12:50 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Tex,
Why don't you ask Tim if he will post our "homemade" clip, pumpkin.
Posted by bluestar @ 12:58 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Tim - why don't you go work for TMZ? Report on football stuff no tabloids......
Posted by Cletus @ 12:58 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
She must have dabbed some of that stuff on Craytons neck too. No wonder Strahan was trying to get in line.
Posted by saint jimmie's gay lover @ 1:08 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
i counted 14 seconds, jimmipoo
Posted by Brandon @ 1:25 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
Thanks for posting Tim!
I'm a diehard Cowboys fan but unlike some of these other idiots I appreciate and understand satire. It's a football game, big deal. Quality work by the onion as usual. Check out sportspickle for their fine work also
Posted by Saint Jimmy @ 1:28 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
I find these comments, irrehensible.
Posted by Tim MacMahon @ 1:29 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
OK, I stand corrected. Was not aware that post by Einstein was removed.
My bosses decided to remove it due to a PG clip, not because it hurt thin-skinned Cowboy fans' feelings.
Posted by Cesar @ 1:35 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
The Onion rules!
Posted by David @ 1:53 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
The article is pure genius.
btw what is up with the comments section turning into an open sewer over the past few months?
Posted by Lareign @ 10:13 PM Fri, Jan 18, 2008
I love the Onion. That's a great story, one I figured they might spoof. Although the real thing almost reads like satire.
There's another picture in the sports section with a T.O.-related headline. I won't put it here, since it's definitely dark humor, even more so than the Simpson story. But I thought it was pretty funny.
Posted by Lee @ 2:37 PM Sat, Jan 19, 2008
Ok, even I admit this one is funny...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJHb9m4ccmQ